Let me fast forward a bit to when I was 20 and dating a village idiot. Well Idiot and I used to go out every weekend Friday, Saturday and Sunday...what dedication lmao. It was Christmas and his cousins had invited themselves from France.
So somehow our date to the carnival turned into a well chaperoned event. And let me tell you 8 tall ass long limbed people (poor me I'm only 5'8 everyone else was easily hitting 6'3) in a Suzuki Swift is a thing you just do NOT want.....a new kind of clown car experience. No contortionists, just arms and legs and people complaining about space.....really? Who invited all these people?? And there was my dear idiot mad as hell driving, his face made up like a hurricane. Me, squished not even squeezed but squished against one door, and him against the steering wheel and the other door, with 2 cousins in betwix and in the back only God himself knows how the other four fit.
Well we were driving along with a car full of noise, Me trying to fix my mini....dammit I thought it was a 2 person event okay! Every time idiot's cousin next to me looked down, I'd see Idiot glare at him. Bursts of complaints from what sounded like a flock of seagulls coming from the back. And you could not breath because if you breathed we'd all have fallen out the car.
Well I'll never forget that night ever. Why?? Well......you see as we were turning off Prince Charles Drive onto Soldier Road someone in that car farted! I can tell you the moment too. It happened when Idiot reached over the cousin next to him, to grab the cousin next to me who decided he was going to touch my leg.....I think they squeezed poor dude in the middle! They call them silent but deadly but damn! You know that car was silent for a whole count of 20.....20 was too long! That is the first time I prayed for an easier death! Who the hell waits till you are packed like tuna in a car to go fart? Hold it!! My eyes were watering but no one wanted to be the one to roll down the window, much less talk, every movement involved breathing.
Finally Idiot could not take it anymore and he said in a strangled whispered "Who ate the eggs and cabbage tho?"
Eggs and cabbage?? No bruh! A skunk took up residence in their tummy thats what! Why did he have to talk it? And then he had the heart to say whoever laughed did it and whoever rushed to roll down a window did it! We were dying to laugh but couldn't. And let me tell you a car full of people turning various shades of blue because they want to laugh is not a pretty sight! Fun times....Never again lmao!!
So somehow our date to the carnival turned into a well chaperoned event. And let me tell you 8 tall ass long limbed people (poor me I'm only 5'8 everyone else was easily hitting 6'3) in a Suzuki Swift is a thing you just do NOT want.....a new kind of clown car experience. No contortionists, just arms and legs and people complaining about space.....really? Who invited all these people?? And there was my dear idiot mad as hell driving, his face made up like a hurricane. Me, squished not even squeezed but squished against one door, and him against the steering wheel and the other door, with 2 cousins in betwix and in the back only God himself knows how the other four fit.
Well we were driving along with a car full of noise, Me trying to fix my mini....dammit I thought it was a 2 person event okay! Every time idiot's cousin next to me looked down, I'd see Idiot glare at him. Bursts of complaints from what sounded like a flock of seagulls coming from the back. And you could not breath because if you breathed we'd all have fallen out the car.
Well I'll never forget that night ever. Why?? Well......you see as we were turning off Prince Charles Drive onto Soldier Road someone in that car farted! I can tell you the moment too. It happened when Idiot reached over the cousin next to him, to grab the cousin next to me who decided he was going to touch my leg.....I think they squeezed poor dude in the middle! They call them silent but deadly but damn! You know that car was silent for a whole count of 20.....20 was too long! That is the first time I prayed for an easier death! Who the hell waits till you are packed like tuna in a car to go fart? Hold it!! My eyes were watering but no one wanted to be the one to roll down the window, much less talk, every movement involved breathing.
Finally Idiot could not take it anymore and he said in a strangled whispered "Who ate the eggs and cabbage tho?"
Eggs and cabbage?? No bruh! A skunk took up residence in their tummy thats what! Why did he have to talk it? And then he had the heart to say whoever laughed did it and whoever rushed to roll down a window did it! We were dying to laugh but couldn't. And let me tell you a car full of people turning various shades of blue because they want to laugh is not a pretty sight! Fun times....Never again lmao!!
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