Forget teen years of practicing ass. My dearest mother reminded me I have been doing embarrassing crap since I was 5!! Got to love parents! The Royal Wedding and America's Funniest made her think about it and she wished she had a video camera to have taped it.....yes I gave my mother serious side eye. No just no!
We'd flown to Miami (yuck) because my dad wanted to go buy a sports something another lol, and I remember I was wearing a white dress and mary janes....you know me and light colors just mean impending doom, and a dress too merciful heavens, brimstone was raining down.
Yup there I was out side the Omni Hotel of Biscayne Bay doing my thing...swinging my foot back and forth. Just shooting the breeze and it happened! My shoe was gone!! What the hell. Now how could I tell my always calm mother and Godzilla over there who starts to breath fire when travel is involved that I lost my shoe somewhere? Easy don't say jack!?!
Unfortunately that didn't last very long if memory serves me right I'd say oh about 4 minutes. My mom looked down and was like what the hell and of course, Godzuki started laying a smackdown to the city. If my father knew I said that I'd be roasted alive. A much better way of putting it is he started looking under the taxi, in the taxi but never off in the distance....oh say at a wedding in the distance lol.
Yes my shoe had gone flying over way over there and had hit the bride in the head when the rice was being thrown -_- and the groom thought it was funny as hell. Poor me! Wait I should be saying poor bride! Hey lady it was 16 years ago but I'm really really sorry my mary jane smacked you side your head, I'm also really sorry the groom laughed, I hope you hit him with a shoe later that day. Oh geeze I laughed at this memory I'm going straight to west hell at the front of the bus. When the groom returned my shoe...yeah he came over to return it (I wish he'd just have kept the damn thing!), he told me to go into soceer and that I was just too cute for words with my wide eyed innocent look. I'd better have been wide eyed and innocent Godzuki was giving me murderous side eye.
You know the ass that I have practiced I cannot get mad at my kids, if I have kids in the future. I did way too much bull to say a thing lol, way way too much!
We'd flown to Miami (yuck) because my dad wanted to go buy a sports something another lol, and I remember I was wearing a white dress and mary janes....you know me and light colors just mean impending doom, and a dress too merciful heavens, brimstone was raining down.
Yup there I was out side the Omni Hotel of Biscayne Bay doing my thing...swinging my foot back and forth. Just shooting the breeze and it happened! My shoe was gone!! What the hell. Now how could I tell my always calm mother and Godzilla over there who starts to breath fire when travel is involved that I lost my shoe somewhere? Easy don't say jack!?!
Unfortunately that didn't last very long if memory serves me right I'd say oh about 4 minutes. My mom looked down and was like what the hell and of course, Godzuki started laying a smackdown to the city. If my father knew I said that I'd be roasted alive. A much better way of putting it is he started looking under the taxi, in the taxi but never off in the distance....oh say at a wedding in the distance lol.
Yes my shoe had gone flying over way over there and had hit the bride in the head when the rice was being thrown -_- and the groom thought it was funny as hell. Poor me! Wait I should be saying poor bride! Hey lady it was 16 years ago but I'm really really sorry my mary jane smacked you side your head, I'm also really sorry the groom laughed, I hope you hit him with a shoe later that day. Oh geeze I laughed at this memory I'm going straight to west hell at the front of the bus. When the groom returned my shoe...yeah he came over to return it (I wish he'd just have kept the damn thing!), he told me to go into soceer and that I was just too cute for words with my wide eyed innocent look. I'd better have been wide eyed and innocent Godzuki was giving me murderous side eye.
You know the ass that I have practiced I cannot get mad at my kids, if I have kids in the future. I did way too much bull to say a thing lol, way way too much!
No comments:
Post a Comment