What is bitchassness? It is total shitty attitude and actions towards others through words, facial expressions, and/or status messages. It's a terrible terrible new disease sweeping the continents as we speak! No one is immune, we've all had a case, some far worse than others (especially some of you boys!) I'm writing this one because of a certain level of over the top bitchassness my friends and I have been experiencing a whole lot as of late. I will even admit I did some of this miss myself!! Before I begin I just want to say that no one was harmed in the making of these rules. Some feelings might get hurt tho and for that .... just suck it up LOL!
Symptoms of general bitchassness applying to both sexes:
- Whining or throwing pussy little pussy fits
- Claiming "hurt feelings" when you are called out on your bullshit
- Thinking your better than other people
- Not speaking your true feelings
- Just being a twat/utter douche in general
- Rule 1: Static cling - It's not cute to be clingy. You are not a sock and she/he is not a shirt! Let gooooooooooooooo. You had a life before she/he came along. You should have a life while you are with them. You were not born attached at the ass. Go out and have fun with your friends... a lil time out every so often. If you keep acting like this you will be alone.
- Rule 2: Insecurity - If she/he didn't like you she/he would not be talking to you. For the sake of all sanity in the free world get over it. I know it's easier said than done but let me reiterate, they would be talking to you if he didn't like you! Don't keep pulling the: "is there another woman is that why you aren't talking to me" card or the out of the blue "what's his name, the man you are leaving me for card" Your significant other will have your ass committed and collect the $70 dollars for turning you in!
- Rule 3: Trust Issues - Not every man is alike. This right here should be easy enough to understand right? Then why is it so hard to get thru your thick war paint laden skulls?? He is not your past. He is your present, he hasn't done a thing to hurt you, so why is it so hard to give him a chance? Relaxxxxxxxxxxxxx sister gurl.
- Rule 4: Controlling - This takes me right back to having a life before he met you. Relax. There's that word again. Deep breaths. You are not his momma. And boy's you don't look like my poppa! Do NOT attempt to tell him/her what to do. It's so not kosher. If they wanted to date a nag .. they'd hook up with a horse. And the more you pick at your lover, the more militant they get. Till you have a full force revolution going on, and you don't want that!
- Rule 5: Being Downright Rude - Now this right here I witnessed first hand. It makes you look like an ass ... hence the bitchassness! Cursing at her/him, calling them names (Soooooo sorry Pikachu I called you big dummy head ... ya big dummy head XD) and just being nasty to them because you feel you are the omnipotent, omniscience boy/girlfriend won't fly. As a matter of fact you look like an omnipotent bag of shit! And if you keep doing it you will find a footprint across the seat of your pants from where your lover kick you out of their life.
- Rule 6: They are not your ex! Do I need to explain this one? Don't give me that look. Don't even try to tell me that in your past... I will slap the taste out of your mouth! Possibly even slap you right back to your ancestors for this one. Did that slap clear your head? You broke up with your ex right? So why in thee hell are you comparing your current love to your ex when it's not warranted at all?
Do you feel silly yet? Have you found yourself doing this non stop? Take a step back. Take a break. Breathe deep. Count to 10 (does that really work?) Woooosa it if needs be. I'd hate for all this baggage right here to cause you to lose what could possibly be a really really great person, that you can love honor and cherish ... while they will love, honor, cherish and rock your world for the rest of your life!
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